Open Letter to Fred Phelps and His Family Congregants

Dear Reverend Phelps, et al:

I hope you're doing well. I notice you've been in the news quite a bit lately, and I thought I'd drop you line to share my thoughts.

You see, I totally support your right to be a complete asshole. Of all the tasteless, misdirected and misguided rhetoric, I have to say yours takes the cake. I wasn't really raised with religion, but thanks to my parents and a public education, I know my rights as an American.

I know that you have the right to say hateful things and carry signs with inflammatory language like, "God Hates Fags," and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers," even though it's not really polite. Emily Post would probably say that you're being an intentionally provocative dickhead, and she'd say it on pretty, cream-colored paper, in exceptional penmanship, and with all the appropriate salutations. I myself don't mind you being a dickhead, but then again, I'm willing to bet that Emily Post wasn't a member of the ACLU.

And kudos on the highly illogical reasoning behind your protests!

• Statement 1: Many soldiers have died in the various campaigns fought in Iraq and Afghanistan over the past nine years.


• Statement 2: A vast majority of Americans, regardless of their personal feelings on the subject, support the right for their fellow Americans to love whomever they want to love.


• Conclusion: God is killing our soldiers because we're at least tolerant or at most supportive of the gay community.

Congratulations! You've posed two seemingly unrelated statements and arrived at a conclusion that's a complete non sequitur.

So by all means, please exploit your freedom of speech to inappropriately push your agenda on the grieving families of fallen soldiers. After all, whether the soldiers were actually gay or straight, your freedom of speech is--politically and symbolically speaking, exactly what they died for.

Now that I've taken a page from your book and expressed my first amendment right, here's a note of caution from the Emily Post in me: Just because you can do something doesn't necessarily mean that you should. Also, here's a word of wisdom from the Eastern philosopher in me: What goes around, comes around.

So, don't be surprised if I turn up at your funeral with a sign that reads, "God Hates Hateful People" or "Reverend Phelps Is Going to Burn in the Everlasting Flames of Hell." I haven't quite decided which message I like best.

Yours truly,
Sarah